


Oh Dream Maker, You Heartbreaker

by maybetomorrow



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort but mostly comfort, I can't remember the last time I wrote something with 2000 plus words for a chapter or a one-shot, Kara's POV, Tumblr Prompt, i mean that's the whole point of the prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-27
Updated: 2017-03-27
Packaged: 2018-10-11 13:22:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,213
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10466007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maybetomorrow/pseuds/maybetomorrow
Summary: After returning from Earth Prime, Kara discovers that something is wrong with Mon-El.  Wracked with guilt, Kara decides to ask him about it.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [myfangirlinghq](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=myfangirlinghq).



> myfangirlinghq posted such a beautiful prompt (http://myfangirlinghq.tumblr.com/post/158749470459/karamel-fanfic), and despite my homework, I had to write it. Here’s my take. Sunflower_Nation also did a beautiful version, so check that out!  
> Obviously, some spoilers for the crossover are in here, so you know what to do...

Kara was ashamed to admit how long it had taken her to notice.Because she should have seen the next day.It took her three.Three _full_ days after they returned to Earth-38 for her to notice that something was really wrong with Mon-El.And she blamed herself for it.Because he wasn’t keeping anything from her — he had promised.But still.She was caught up in the excitement of actually being able to be with her boyfriend.Her boyfriend who _loved her_.It was exciting, and she hadn’t gotten to be so cheesy-rom-com-happy when he said it the first time.And he seemed happy, too.Almost all the time.He was still his usual self, with his uninhibited smile and the constant affection.He seemed so normal.So _happy_.

At first, she thought maybe it was his parents, still lingering, as if waiting to strike.She could see fear in his eyes most days.Fear that usually slipped away when his eyes met hers, but for a moment each time, there was a flash of concern.She knew they should still talk about how he felt about his parents showing up , especially if having them on Earth, alive, was bothering him so much.

But it wasn’t just the look.His voice had become gravelly.He missed more punches than usual during their sparring sessions.And he was on edge.Constantly.And she had dismissed that as being ready for his parents to attack, but the more attention she paid him, the less that seemed to be the case.

Then there was the coffee.She’d only seen him drink it when she brought it to him, but he had a cup with him more often than not now and he’d gone to get it himself.He clung to the paper cups like a lifeline. 

On Friday night, he stayed over, as she worked through her Netflix queue until they couldn’t stay awake.She fell asleep in the middle of an episode, early in the night, after what had been a long and busy day.She woke in the very early morning, still leaning into his side and using him as a pillow.And that was when she noticed he was still wide awake — although he looked like he needed to crash. 

“Mon-El,” she whispered in the darkness of the apartment.His eyes were still fixed on the television as he continually ran his fingers through her hair. “Are you okay?”

“Totally fine.Feeling absolutely just — yeah.”He nodded, but she still saw the crinkle settling between his brows.And usually it would make her feel a different kind of concern, one laced with doubt.But instead, she was worrying about him, because he seemed so off as of late.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” She reached an arm around his torso to pull herself closer to his side, if only to remind him that she was there with him.Mon-El softened, and Kara could see the exhaustion in his eyes. 

“I know.”He looked so sad.His gaze was empty, and he wasn’t even looking at her.He pressed his eyes shut, as if forcing himself away from a thought or from looking at her or maybe something else entirely.

“But you don’t want to right now?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.

“I don’t know.” He flared his nostrils a little as he said it.“It isn’t a big deal.”And in that moment, she thought about the last time she had reacted to him keeping something from her.And how uncaring she had been.So she thought about the possible reasons he’d want to hide how he was feeling — because it wasn’t often that Mon-El felt the need to keep his feelings back.And instead of getting angry, she grew concerned for whatever was going on in his head to make him feel like holding back.

“Okay,” she said, nodding.She pressed her lips together, considering her words carefully.“It seems like a big deal, the way it’s eating at you.But whether it is or not, when you want to talk, I’m all ears.”

“Thank you,” he muttered.

She leaned up to kiss him softly, once.Enough to remind him that they were okay.To try to convey that she would listen and whatever he was thinking about wouldn’t change anything.

“Come on,” she said, grabbing the remote and turning the tv off.“Let’s get some sleep.”

She dragged him into her room, and waited for him to get comfortable before she curled up in her bed, against his side, and fell back to sleep.

***

Kara woke up to the startling movement of Mon-El jolting upright.She sat up, watching as the panic in his eyes began to subside and his breathing started to even out.He stared straight ahead and his eyes blinked, still tinged with sleepiness.Mon-El glistened with the cold sweat of a nightmare.And suddenly, it started to make sense.The coffee, the voice, anxiety breaking into his every act. 

“Hey,” she whispered, scooting behind him on her knees and wrapping her arms around his stomach.She pressed her cheek against his shoulder blade and held on tightly.Mon-El held one hand over hers, using the other to balance himself as he steadied his breathing. 

“Everything’s okay.I’m here.You’re not alone.”She whispered those words over and over again until it felt like she wasn’t saying them anymore.Like she was just hearing herself say it.And soon enough, he was calm and stirring, broken out of whatever had caused the panic.

“You go take a seat in the kitchen, okay?I’ll make some pancakes.”Kara followed him tentatively, eyes trained on his every move, trying to read him in his micro movements.

Mon-El sat across the table from the stove, where Kara started cooking in silence.He rested his head in his heads, and Kara thought better of pressing him now.So, instead she made an entire stack of pancakes, placing them on a plate in front of him.And when he lifted his head, she leaned across the table to kiss him softly.

She cleared her throat.“So,” she said, steadying herself, “how long has this been going on?”

“Kara, it’s noth—” he said, stopping when his eyes settled on her.The look on his face screamed of giving up.“Almost a week.”He put his head back in his hands, his elbows resting firmly against the table top.I hurt, to watch him like this.She nodded, trying not to blame herself for being so blissfully unaware. 

“I’ve been, uh.”He paused to compose himself.His voice grew more strained than she’d ever heard it before.“I’ve been having these dreams.Ever since we got back from Star Labs.”

She couldn’t stop herself from moving closer to him as his distress grew exponentially.She took the seat next to his, rather than her usual place across the table from him.

He took a deep breath and continued.“It starts like normal.You’re unconscious and I’m by your side, watching your vitals fall.Then Cisco vibes Iris and I into your dream, and we come to save you.And Iris saves Barry.But when I try to save you, it doesn’t work.And you die in my arms and I wake up.And when I wake up — in the real world — I doubt myself.Every time, I’m not sure if it really was a dream or not until I see you.And it’s been _killing_ me.”

“Mon-El —” she said, reaching out for him, but thinking better of it.

“It takes so much out of me, so I’ve been trying to avoid it as much as I can.”

“You’ve been trying not to sleep?” she asked, alarmed.

“It hurts too much.”He looked to her.Then like a hand against a stovetop, he snapped his glance away, trying to tend to his wounds.

“And every time I close my eyes, I am right back there.And this time, it isn’t enough.My love for you isn’t enough to save you and — and I’m not enough.And you never wake up and I lose you.Over and over again.”

The words echoed in her head. _I’m not enough_.And then all she could hear was his mother, asking Kara to let him go so he’d never have to realize he wasn't good enough for her.Of all the things his mother said to her, every word that made her despise the woman in an instant, those words had hurt her the most.Because even when she was furious at him, even when — for the briefest of moments — she was struggling to imagine a future with him, she couldn’t fathom that thought.Not after everything they had gone through together.How much he had changed.How much she loved him.

And yet, she had still snapped at him — made it seem like he meant so little to her from the moment he revealed himself.And then his apology and his sincerity — it _hadn’t_ been enough, had it?

But he loved her.And he saved her.And in spite of the way she treated him, the ways she proved him right in his reluctance, he stayed by her side and risked whatever he needed to so he could bring her home safely.And _he loved her_.

“You are enough.You will always be enough.I promise you that.”She spoke forcefully, trying to impart exactly how important it was that he understood.It wasn’t the first time she had told him so, but she needed him to believe it, now more than ever.She reached out to touch his cheek.He didn’t respond, but he let his head fall against her hand.

And now she was getting all teary-eyed, too. She’d only seen him break like this twice.And both times, she was telling him they couldn’t be together.But this time, it was like he was choking down that same feeling, even though she wanted nothing more than to stay by his side.Especially now.Especially considering how he kept his eyes on her as if she’d be gone any moment.

She couldn’t bear the tears welling up in his eyes.So, instead of saying anything else, she pulled him up out of his chair, and wrapped her arms around him, hugging him with all her strength.And he pulled his arms down around her shoulders, one of his hand holding her by the back of her neck, keeping her close.She listened to his heartbeat, half erratic as she did her best to comfort him. 

Kara tilted her head up to look at Mon-El.And she found herself stunned by the man in front of her.A man she never wanted to lose again.He’d become to much for her to ever part with.And she was overcome with emotion watching him, eyed squeezed shut in pain, still trying to piece together what was real and what was a torture he’d imagined for himself.

But then he looked at her, the same way he had when he had told her about comets, and she could hardly breathe.

“I love you.”The words broke out of her like a whisper with the strength of a scream.His eyes flutter shut, and he had that smile that she loves so much, the one that makes her feel like nothing else in the world matters.

So she reached one hand up to hold the side of his face, her fingers grazing his ear before she went up onto her tip toes and kissed him as gently and sweetly as she could muster. 

His every movement against her was soft and slow.She could feel his tiredness in his each move, each sound, each breath.So, with a last desperate tug against him, she pulled away.But she had a smile spread across her face.

“How about you and I stay home today and rest.Okay?I want you to get some real sleep.And I’m going to be right here the whole time.”Her heart was humming.

He nodded his head, leaning down until their foreheads met.“Sure.”

“Yeah?” Kara smiled and took hold of both of his hands. 

“Yeah.”She leaned back to glance at his face, etched with exhaustion.He looked like he was barely hanging on to consciousness.And only just minutes ago, seeing the same look would have left her heart broken. 

Instead, she found a little happiness in knowing he could let his guard down completely with her.So she pulled him by the hands and walked backwards back into her room, the pancakes still lying forgotten on the table. 

She led him back to bed and waited for him to get settled on his side before she curled next to him, wrapping herself around him.And as he started to fall into sleep, she ran her fingers across his shoulder, watching him embrace the sleep he so desperately needed.And deserved.

Mon-El mumbled an _I love you_ as he drifted off and Kara smiled.She was content to stay here as long as it took for him to accept that she wasn’t going anywhere.Not now.Not ever.

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is karadanversprince… you know what to do. If you’ve got a prompt, send it my way. I’m gonna be posting the whole hiatus (I’m gonna dieeeeee) and I need some fuel to get through it.  
> Feedback is appreciated. I have little to offer more than my eternal love, to Krypton and back, but it’s a lot of love so come talk with me.


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